Living in Thailand

It’s Sunday. Often my only day off per week. So I slept in, cleaned up my room, ironed my shirts, rearranged my room a little and finally put on my swim shorts to head to the beach. I enjoyed marvelous views over Phuket and the Andaman Sea, had a fruit shake or two, explored so far unexplored areas of the island, buried my toes in the sand, watched little kids play in the waves and afterwards headed out to the night market for some fine Sushi and a Mojito. I probably spent around 5 € today.

And I had some time to think. Many people recently asked me how much longer I am planning to live in Thailand. Good question. Counter question: Why should I live anywhere else?

I decided to offer you a couple of reasons, why Thailand is currently the perfect place for me to be.

The visitors

First of all I’d like to extend a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has invested his/her time and money to visit me here (or is planning to do so). It has been a real pleasure seeing so many of you coming over, engaging in my new life, creating more everlasting memories with me. It is absolutely mind-blowing to know there are such great people out there. THANK YOU!

The weather

It is the end of April. So far, I have witnessed approximately 5 days of rain in 2014 – one of them was in Vienna. When I head to the beach here, I wear flip flops, t-shirt and shorts. When I go shopping, I wear flip flops, t-shirt and shorts. When I go to a bar, I wear flip flops, t-shirt and shorts. When I go dancing, I wear flip flops, t-shirt and shorts (yes – I can enter the poshest nightclubs in the area with this dress code ^^). No matter if the sun is shining, if it’s raining, if it’s midday or midnight, I wear flip flops, t-shirt and shorts. I love it.

The people

• Part 1: The smiling stranger.

I walk to work. Haven’t slept too well. Bit grumpy. On my way, I pass a perfectly random stranger. He looks at me, cracks a broad smile, greets me friendly and walks away. I have never met this guy in my life before, he has never met me, and chances are tiny we will ever meet again. But he smiled. He greeted. Smiling is contagious. He made my day. I greeted him back. And I certainly smiled to everyone else that day. Honestly: When has this last happened to you?

• Part 2: Sharing is caring.

I have lunch with a working colleague. Despite him probably earning around half my salary, he insists he’d invite me for lunch. Thai people share. It happens almost daily that someone (colleague or stranger) waves you over to invite you for something. Simply because it makes them happy. And again, it’s contagious – people here share. White, black, Asian, European… they all share.
(Did you know? It is scientifically proven that poorer people share more than richer people!)

• Part 3: Doing my laundry.

First time I tried to use a coin operated washing machine, I had no clue what to do. So I asked the friendly owner of the place. She instructed me, and then invited me for a beer, as I had to wait for an hour anyway. The rest of that evening made history… I believe two of you had the pleasure to read the story on my blog, before my Mum declared the content inappropriate for a worldwide audience, and I took the post down…
The laundry is gone, that lady and her partner have opened a bar on the hill now. It is hard to convince them that I should pay for things I consume when I’m there. It is really hard!

• Part 4: Time is relative

Sure. Many of you think everybody in Thailand is lazy and walking slowly. Not entirely wrong. But there are counter examples as well: So I sat in that bar and ordered my food and a fruit shake. The waitress took my order and disappeared, only to return a minute later: “I am really sorry, Sir, but these two gentlemen over there ordered their meals before you, so you’ll have to wait a while.” I couldn’t care less. I had my fruit shake and overlooked the ocean.
Three minutes later my food was served.

• Part 5: My landlord

I told my landlord that I’d love to have mosquito nets installed in front of my doors, so I can keep the doors open and get fresh wind, but no mosquitos inside. She agreed and arranged things.
The workers came while I was at work, so my landlord let them in. By the time I returned, not only did I have two mosquito doors – but also a tidy room! My landlord admitted that the place looked so dirty she couldn’t help herself but had to clean up. ^^ (No, it did not look that dirty!)

• Part 6: You never walk alone

So I sat in front of that supermarket enjoying the cold beer I had just bought. My thoughts were far, far away, as suddenly two Thai guys approximately my age approached and started talking to me. As my Thai is far from perfect, I had no idea what this was all about. By the time they began touching my arms and trying to drag me away, I got a bit sceptical. But only a bit. Trusting strangers but be naive, but not being naive is boring; so I decided to walk with them. The destination: A table some 20 meters away. They pushed me into one of the chairs, sat down, opened a can of beer for themselves and started talking. About the world. Or so. Most of the conversation consisted of "Real Madrid!" ... "Ahh, ohh, noo... Germany! Bayern Munich." "Ahh, dee mak, Muller, Schweinsteiger, okay, shai." *thumbs up*  ^^
It wasn't until later that I realized what had happened: These two guys had seen me sitting alone on that porch in front of the supermarket. And had decided that drinking a cold one alone is not cool. Despite them having almost no command of English, they paused their quality time to engange me into a conversation. I mean, honestly - how cool is that?

The job

As most of you know, I am the marketing coordinator at Elephant Hills. Some call me the elephant whisperer, the jungle man. I indeed do spend some time with elephants, and I also do spend some time in the jungle, which is both great. I spend some time in the office, too, which is not too bad either. I learn a lot, I enjoy a lot of freedom, and I have the feeling I move things forward – this year again we are expecting another record in guest numbers.
Maybe the best of all: I also travel a lot! Should all plans come together, I will visit over 10 countries purely for business this year. I meet tons of fantastic people, make excellent new contacts and see spectacular places. Probably a third of my time is spent overseas. And by the time I return “home”, I still live under palm trees 5 minutes from the beach. How cool is that?

The working schedule

It must be Monday. Facebook is full of complaints from people who don’t want to start another week at their job.
Thailand is currently five hours ahead of Germany, hence my working day is already over. I usually have no idea which day of the week it is. It doesn’t matter. I love my job, and I don’t mind working seven days a week – I know this accumulates days off which I can easily spend on some remote island hanging in a hammock while sipping fresh coconut juice. The supermarkets here are open 24/7; whenever I realize I need milk for my muesli, I can go and buy it, no matter what time of the day of which day of the week. I don’t believe that the invention of watches and weekdays generally enriched people’s lives.

Safety

Prior to coming to Thailand I had travelled South America for 9 months. When I moved in crowded areas or at night, I was used to watch my stuff and my surroundings. One hand was usually in my pocket where I had my phone, camera, money, keys, whatever.
You all know how much I love to lose my camera or have it stolen. Or sunglasses. Or so. Since I am here, I have lost … nothing. Even if I leave stuff in certain places, people take good care of it until I realize my loss and return to that place to retrieve my things.
As I walked through the night market tonight, I felt perfectly free and safe and happy. I drove home through the darkness, not having a doubt anything could possibly happen. To be honest – at certain times I felt less safe in Germany…

The food

No, I do not have a kitchen in my apartment. My “cookery equipment” consists of a knife, a spoon, a fork and a bowl. And a fruit shake mixer. ;) I enjoy fruit shakes and mueslis in the mornings at home. Other than that, I eat out. A whole meal including drink can be had for 1 € here – and that’s good food! Even if I tried, I probably couldn’t cook neither more economically nor better. Even though you of course know I am a passionate genius master chef… ;)

The Lifestyle

True. Many things in Thailand work a bit slower than they would in Germany or elsewhere. However, nobody here suffers from burnout. I recently learned that up to 60% of all illnesses are stress related! Since I am in Thailand, I was sick for … let me think … 24 hours. That was when I got stung by a bee and my allergy kicked in. Not much you can do.
Of course, sometimes I wish certain projects would move along a bit quicker. Then again, I am happy that all my colleagues always have time for some small talk and a broad smile in-between. And I learn from friends that projects in Western Europe don’t necessarily move along quicker. Sometimes, just sometimes, I ask myself: Why worry? Will, when I grow old, I still regret that my special project finished two days later? Will we die a happier person if the new printer had arrived a week earlier? Think about it. Relax.

The Future

I bought a world map as room decoration. And mosquito doors. I bought a scooter. I took up Thai classes. I have a working visa. What I don't have is: A Plan. Even if I had - plans always change. So I don't waste much time making any. But from the current looks of it, it might well be that I do stay a little while longer... Hope that's fine for you? Will you visit me (again)? :)

The Lifestyle pt. II

Office hours finish at 5pm. I walk home, change the ranger uniform for flip flops, t-shirt and shorts, and head to the beach. I enjoy a spectacular sunset and a seriously mouthwatering fruit shake while burying my toes in the soft, white sand.
Other people pay hundreds of Euros to spend their holidays here. They have two to three weeks of those, and look forward to this one special moment all year long.
I have it every single day.

And now let me ask you again:

Why should I live anywhere else?

Songkran. The world’s wildest water fight.

I sit in the back of a Tuk-Tuk and cruise along Phuket’s spectacular west coast. The Sunday sun slowly sinks into the Andaman Sea and conjures a breathtaking red glow onto the few lonely clouds in the sky. I sit and drive and let all those coconut palm trees pass by.

Simultaneously, I try to process the past 24 hours.

It is Saturday evening, the 12^th of April 2014. Adam, my good friend from Barcelona, and Sofie, our new Danish intern at Elephant Hills, hire a whole minivan to drive us to Patong – basically the Ibiza of Thailand. Adam and I bought supersoakers for the whole team, because it is…

SONGKRAN!

Songkran is the traditional Thai New Year. In former times, younger persons washed older persons’ hands at this occasion, to symbolically wash away the sins from last year. Over time, this has developed into the world’s wildest water fight. (Probably because only washing your hands wouldn’t be sufficient for all the sins we commit these days… ^^)

So we chuck our stuff in our hostel room and dress up. Sofie gets her black dress out, Adam and I – our swim shorts. After carefully elaborating our options for half a minute or so, we decide to go topless. A very wise decision, as we would learn soon.

As walking doesn’t get us anywhere, we hire a tuk-tuk to bring us to Bangla Road. What Khao San is for Bangkok, is Bangla for Patong. Just worse.

A tuk-tuk is a semi-open vehicle, perfect to have fresh wind blowing through your hair while enjoying a ride and the views. Not so perfect to move forward during Songkran – way before reaching our destination, we are soaking wet. And by soaking, I mean that I am certain there was nothing left in the inside of the tuk-tuk that was not wet. In retrospect I must admit that pointing my empty supersoaker at passersby and making a *splash* noise probably didn’t help much to keep us dry… ;)

So we finally reach Bangla Road. We are soaking wet. But – so is everybody else! I bet you cannot imagine what this place looked like: The roads were blocked with pick-up trucks stuffed with people throwing water from the back of the cargo area. The sidewalks were full of people, all armed with super soakers, water guns and other water sputtering gadgets. In front of each bar you’d find a massive ton where people refilled their equipment. And behind most corners there were kids lurking around with hoses, waiting to blast a heavy water-jet right into your face.

So we fight back. “Save the Queen!” Adam shouts, and instructs me that we two guys would have to save Sofie’s life from now on. We fight hard. We fight dirty. We fight … almost successful. I honestly believe if Sofie had had like 3.287 lives, there could still be one or two left.

We retreat to a bar. They have free water for all customers. And some kind of team morality: All bar clients fight together. Most of the time. Unexpected guerilla attacks do happen occasionally. Not that anyone would care anymore, every person along this road (and there are several thousand!) is as wet as the Andaman Sea itself. The only troubles are the varying water temperatures – from ice-cold to urine-warm, Tom Hanks would probably compare it with a box of chocolates. You never know what you gonna get.

We flee into another place, a closed one, and enjoy the dryness of the moment for around 30 minutes, before it’s time to hit the road again.

There are occasions when I imagine I am not too bad with words. But I must capitulate here – words cannot express what we witnessed that night. In case you’re up for a first impression: Type “Songkran Patong 2014” into the YouTube search engine. In case you’re up for the real thing: Book flights to Thailand April next year. Believe me – you will not regret a single Cent you’ll spend!

The following day. Adam departs to the airport. Estimated travel time is usually around 30-45 minutes. Today, the hostel receptionists hurries him to leave right now. He has only four hours left…

Sofie and I fight our way through Bangla Road again, enjoy a mouthwatering lunch and delicious strawberry milk shakes, dive right into an open air foam party and then recover at the beach for a little while.

Sofie somehow finds the energy to stay for another night; I will have to work tomorrow, so I head back to Chalong. We find a driver, deliver Sofie to the hostel to freshen up, and I snuggle into the back of the Tuk-Tuk to watch the sensational Sunday sun set while cruising along Phuket’s spectacular west coast.

The journey takes double as long as usual. By the time I arrive back at my apartment, I am still trying to process what has happened, but I am quite certain by now that I’ll probably never fully understand this unique event I have just witnessed.

But one thing I have realized once again today:

LIFE IS AWESOME!

Ja ist Valentine denn Weihnachten?

Valentin ist eine Erfindung des Kommerzes. Gefördert von Blumen- und Süßwarenhändlern, die sich an diesem Tag ein goldenes Höschen verdienen. Ähnlich wie das moderne Weihnachten. Man glaubt, man muss seinen Liebsten an exakt diesem Tag etwas schenken, ihnen an diesem einen, eigentlich belanglosen Tag des Jahres verdeutlichen, dass sie das ein und alles für einen sind. Warum überhaupt? Wissen die das denn nicht?

Meine Mutter wollte früher nie, dass wir ihr etwas zum Muttertag schenkten. „Weshalb, meine lieben Kinderchen, solltet ihr das tun? Möchtet ihr eure Mutter nicht lieber das ganze Jahr über respekt- und liebevoll behandeln, anstatt zu versuchen, an einem einzigen Tag sämtliche eurer zahlreichen Schandtaten der anderen 364 ¼ Tage zu vergessen zu machen?“

Ich konnte das nicht verstehen. Schließlich hatte ich ihr in der Schule doch so liebevoll einen Kaktus eingepflanzt, und noch ein kleines Holzstäbchen mit einem aus Filz ausgeschnittenen Herz hineingesteckt. "Zum Muttertag“ stand darauf. Und damit konnte ich nun nicht die ganzen verkratzten Wände, überzogenen Taschengeldforderungen und stets wachsenden Berge an Dreckwäsche vergessen machen? Wie fies ist das denn?

Mit dem Alter kommt die Weisheit, munkelt man. Dass das nichts mit pigmentarmen Farbtönen zu tun hat, merke ich allein an meiner unfassbar sexy sonnengebräunten Haut, um die mich meine Gäste so beneiden – und ob der so manch ein Thai mir am Liebsten kopfschüttelnd den Vogel zeigen würde. Wer will schon braun sein, wenn man weiß sein könnte? ;)

Abseits dieser Oberflächlichkeiten leuchtet mir so langsam ein, was meine Mutter einstmals gemeint haben könnte. Warum sollte man Geschenke schenken, nur, weil der Kapitalismus es einem so diktiert? Schwingt nicht auch beim Beschenkten da ein wenig der Gedanke mit: „Aha, das ganze Jahr lang nichts von sich hören lassen, doch zu Weihnachten kriege ich wieder einen selbstgestrickten Kartoffelsack der hässlich ist wie Amy Winehouse ohne Make-Up?“

Ich habe zu vergangenem Weihnachtsfeste eher wenige Geschenke erhalten. Die meisten musste ich mir sogar selbst besorgen. Doch das ist auch gut so – die wenigen, die ich erhielt, wusste ich umso mehr zu schätzen. Und mir wurde einmal mehr bewusst, dass manche Menschen zu mir halten werden, egal, wo auf Welt ich mich herum treibe.

Tja. Und manchmal ist Weihnachten eben auch nicht nur am 24.12. Manchmal kann es auch am 14.02. sein – die Ziffern sind die gleichen. Und genau so war es auch heute: Nichtsahnend sprang ich nach dem 2. Weckerklingeln unter die kalte Dusche, genoss gedankenverloren mein Schokoladenmüsli auf meinem Balkon beim Blick ins Grüne, zupfte die Uniform an allen Enden in Position und marschierte zur Arbeit. Soweit noch nichts Ungewöhnliches.

Erst beim Durchschreiten der Glastüre bemerkte ich ein recht ansehnliches Paket auf meinem Schreibtisch liegen. Absenderin: Carina Wieland.

Die ersten Ameisen wuselten bereits geschäftig um den Karton herum, und so machte ich mich schleunigst daran, die Krabbler zu verscheuchen – und das Paket in genaueren Augenschein zu nehmen.

Es dauerte keine fünf Sekunden, da war das Klebeband verrissen und die Augen des Chris sehr weit auf: Vor mir verbargen sich Schokolade, Müsli, Nüssli und – Spannung – ein Roggenvollkornbrot in der Dunkelheit der Box!!!

Anbei lag noch eine Karte mit der Aufschrift: „Ja ist denn schon wieder Weihnachten?“ Nur knappe zwei Monate ist es her, dass diese Karte liebevoll von Hand auf ihrer Rückseite beschriftet wurde.

Keine Frage, dass es einer der längsten Arbeitstage meiner Existenz wurde, doch schließlich schnappte ich mir den Karton, wünschte allen ein wundervolles Wochenende (da Valentin ein nationaler Feiertag hier ist, haben ausnahmsweise fast alle mal 2 Tage frei) und wippte beschwingt und bewusstseinserweitert grinsend in Richtung meines Apartments.

Dort angekommen, fuchtelte ich flugs die nervige Pappe aus dem Weg und erlabte mich an dem Anblick vergessen geglaubter Güter. Brot. Richtiges, deutsches, dunkles Brot! Sensationell.

Das geschulte Auge bemerkt natürlich sofort, dass hier bereits das erste Raffaelo fehlt... ;)

Nur wenig später befand ich mich auf dem Weg zum nächsten Supermarkt, erstand dort Butter, Käse, Cocktailtomaten und Granatapfelsaft, sowie feinste deutsche Hausmacherwurst und Fleischsalat bei meinem lokalen Lieblingsmetzger. Der Schmaus konnte beginnen…

Liebevoll wurde draußen auf dem Balkon das Buffet hergerichtet, sodann das Brotmesser gezückt und – zack – war die erste Stulle gaumenbereit. Trotz allmählich einsetzender thailändischer Gelassenheit konnte es mir in diesem Falle gar nicht schnell genug gehen, die Brotscheibe durch meine sich öffnenden Lippen hinein in den gierigen Schlund zu schieben.

Ich habe einmal ein Wort gehört, welches die daraufhin einsetzende Gefühlsexplosion zumindest annähernd ein wenig beschreiben kann:

Geschmacksknospenorgasmus.

Es wurde ein Fest vom Feinsten: Brot mit Lyoner, Brot mit Fleischsalat, Brot mit undefinierbarem Karotte-Gemüse-Zucker-Aufstrich aus dem Thai Supermarkt, Brot mit Käseschaiblette, Brot mit Brot… keine Kreation wurde verschont.

Seit mich mit 18 Jahren das Reisefieber packte und ich mich mit nichts als einem Pass, einer Reisetasche, einer Kreditkarte und einem Kopf voller Träume nach Australien absetzte, habe ich noch keine Nation auf dieser Welt ausfindig gemacht, welche so feines Brot fabriziert wie die Deutschen. Ebenso wenig fand ich jemals Reisende, welche Brot in der Welt so vermisst haben wie die Deutschen. Man möchte fast meinen, dass Jesus ein heimwehkranker deutscher Backpacker auf Rucksackreise im Orient war, als er bat: „Unser täglich Brot gib‘ uns heute.“

Manchmal ist es Brot, das das Leben so lebenswert macht – und zwar nicht nur, wenn der FHG Unterstufenchor beim Oliver Twist Musical „Brot, herrliches Brooot“ traällert. Als ich da so in Badeshorts auf meinem Balkon stand und beobachtete, wie die letzten Sonnenstrahlen des Tages den vormals tiefblauen Himmel langsam in ein orangeliches Zinoberrot verwandelten und die verschiedensten Vöglein ihr abendliches Gute-Nacht-Lied zwitscherten, da wurde mir, während ich mir genüsslich die letzten Happen des Roggenvollkornbrotes auf der Zunge zergehen ließ, bewusst: Das ist das Leben. Und zwar genau so, wie es immer sein sollte.

Vielen herzlichen Dank, liebe Carina, dass du mir so fern meiner Familie ein so beträchtliches Stück Heimatgefühl gegeben hast!

Und vielen herzlichen Dank an euch alle, ihr fleißigen Leser, dass ich auch an Valentin niemals das Gefühl haben muss, ich sei alleine auf dieser Welt.

"Einen wahren Freund,

eine wahre Freundin,

kann man nicht verlieren.

Verlieren

kann man nur die Illusion

die man sich über manche Menschen macht."

Endlich wieder Neuigkeiten!

Hiho, meine lieben Freunde!

Ja, es gibt mich noch. Und diesen blog natürlich auch. Und einen guten Vorsatz: Ab sofort wieder ein wenig mehr posten, wenn vielleicht auch etwas kürzer, über all die wundervollen Sachen, die einem leider gar schon viel zu oft als alltäglich erscheinen – das freundliche Lächeln fremder Menschen auf offener Straße, das feine lunsjen mit netten Arbeitskollegen unter Kokospalmen, das entspannte Chillaxen an freien Tagen an unschlagbaren Sandstränden bei blauem Himmel… jaja, es gibt eigentlich stets recht viel zu berichten.

Was nicht ganz Gewöhnliches zuerst: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, lieber Bruder Kevin! J Feier ordentlich in deiner neuen Bude in Kreuzlingen mit deinen beiden Mitbewohnerinnen, Pauli-G., den Eltern, den Hockeykumpanen etc. Hat mich sehr gefreut, vorhin mit dir zu plauschen. J

Ebenfalls nicht ganz alltäglich: Urlaub letzte Woche. ;) Ganze drei Tage habe ich mir im Verlauf des Januars zusammen gespart, durch zahlreiche sonntägliche Einsätze in Khao Sok – u.A. als Campleiter. ;)

Joar. Daraufhin haben Kong und ich unsere Badesachen gepackt und sind nach Khanom gedüst. Ein bislang wenig entdeckter Ort am thailändischen Golf, nur 1h östlich von Surat Thani. Mit 12km weißem Sandstrand. ;) Insider muss man sein.

Wir also drei Tage schön ans Meer. Und weil das nicht so arg oft vorkommt, auch gleich den dicksten Bungalow direkt am Strand gemietet.

Im Nobelresort mit Infinity Pool. Wer kann, der darf, sag ich mal.

Mit dem gemieteten Scooter den Strand entlang gebraust, bis hin zum Seafood-Restaurant, und dort festlich für nen knappen Tausender getafelt. Mensch ist das Leben klasse.

Viel gechillt wurde. Fruitshakes geschlürft. Den flammenden Reden des Oppositionsführer Suthep im Fernsehen gelauscht, seine Pläne vernommen, Bangkok lahm zu legen und die eigentlich gestern statt findende Wahl zu boykottieren. Bei der boomenden Kokosnussproduktion zu geschaut.

Auf den im Boden gerammten spitzen Speer im Boden wird die Kokosnuss draufgehauen, und zwar so geschickt, dass sich der Speer an der Steinfrucht vorbei durch die Schale bohrt. Schale und Frucht werden auseinander klambüsert – und pro Kokosnuss gibt es einen halben Baht! Wer von euch würde dafür einen Finger krümmen? Noch dazu unter sengender Sonne, den ganzen Tag lang im Stehen?

Da ging es uns schon besser. Wir haben nur konsumiert. Gegessen wurde natürlich auch reichlich. Das ist Teil der Thai Kultur.

Ein sehr wichtiger Teil. ;)

Joar.  Und bisweilen sitzt man einfach nur untätig da, starrt hinaus in die scheinbar unendlichen Weiten des Ozeans und genießt…

…genau, den Sonnenaufgang – wir sind hier ja schließlich an der Ostküste, ne? ;)

Sodala. Nun seid ihr wieder ein wenig auf dem Laufenden.

Nebenher feiern man im nahe gelegenen Wat Chalong das chinesische Neujahr mit lauten Konzerten, ich kann in meinem Zimmer mitfeiern. Dennoch konnte ich es mir natürlich nicht nehmen lassen, dort am Samstag ein wenig mit zu zelebrieren. Nebst viel Futter, Klamotten, Krimskrams und jahrmarktähnlichen Schießbuden das Highlight vom Volksfest: Miss Wet Contest. :D Nein, ich habe nicht das Wort T-Shirt vergessen... da sitzen tatsächlich leicht bekleidete Damen in einer Art Käfig über einem Wasserbecken - und wer per Tennisballwurf eine Zielscheibe trifft, löst damit einen Mechanismus aus, welcher den Damen den Boden unter dem Hintern wegzieht. *splash* *hahahaha* Auf so eine Idee muss man auch erst mal kommen...

Ich halte euch auf dem Laufenden!

Liebe Grüße,

der Chris

Visa Run to Myanmar. From Phuket via Khao Lak to Ranong. And back.

Depending on your visa, travelers in Thailand has to leave the country between every 14 to 90 days. They call it a “visa run”, as it is truly just running out of the country, to then return and obtain a new visa.

It is a big business. Every day, dozens of vans, each filled with 10-12 passengers, cruise from Phuket along up to Ranong on the Burmese border – and all of them hurry back in the late afternoon. The price varies, some providers charge THB 1.500 for this, other just THB 1.200. The service remains the same: Up to Ranong, cross the border by boat, 10 minutes in Myanmar, back to Ranong, new visa stamp, lunch, and back to Khao Lak or Phuket. You can organize it with basically everyone in Khao Lak or Phuket; just make sure to insist on paying THB 1.200 from the beginning.

We agreed I’ll be at the new Tesco Lotus in Chalong at 5:30am. I hurried to make in on time, just to experience once again: It is never worth hurrying in Thailand. I got picked up around 6:10am.

As usually, nobody spoke in the van. 11 of us were visa running to Ranong today, 7 nationalities, ages ranging from 20-65. Everyone does it. Not a big deal.

Two stops along the way, for toilets and snacks. Other than that: Listen to music, relax, sleep, play smartphone games, read a book, enjoy the scenery – especially north of Phuket the landscape is beautiful.

Visa run drivers are madmen. The get paid per run, not per hour, so they of course hurry to get you there and back as quickly as possible. Tailgating, risky overtaking maneuvers and even the defiance of red traffic lights are normal behavior here. Close your eyes. Relax. Listen to music.

Choose your seat wisely: In the back, you will feel every single hump. But you don’t disturb anyone when reclining your seat. The choice is yours. Take a jacket. And socks. The air-con is icy.

Once you’ll reach Ranong, your driver will point you in the right direction to line up. Have your departure card filled in and at hand. In case you overstayed, be prepared to pay THB 500 per day. Many people do it. Not a big deal either. (You'll be brought to the little room behind the glass window. It's like 3x7m. 5 persons are present: Two official guys, one lady stamping passports, and two ladies preparing food, managing the YouTube playlist, regulating the aircon... it's well worth the THB 500.)

After handing in your departure card, a boat takes you to Myanmar. It’s like two kilometers, but it takes like 30 minutes. Relax. Enjoy the scenery.

Reach Myanmar. Get your stamp. Buy alcohol and cigarettes, if you like. Back on the boat. Back to Thailand. Back in line. Have your arrival card filled in and at hand. Next stamp. Bamm. Formalities finished.

Then the enjoyable part. Have lunch with the group. Make friends, if you haven’t done so yet. Return to the South.

As I was heading to the gulf of Thailand the next day, I got dropped off at Takua Pa. Absolutely underestimated beauty of the west! (Read more on Takua Pa here.)

Arrival in Takua Pa ca. 5:30pm. Time for a beer.

Amazing sunset at Takua Pa. Did anyone ever tell you this place even existed?

Sensational Saturday

Long story short: I had a sensational Saturday! :)

It started to be fantastic just before lunch: After gloriously rising morning sun, we experienced such a massive downpour that first plans to build an arch were drafted. Minutes later the mist cleared, the sky turned blue, the sun started burning. Plans change, they say. ;)

This is my everyday view once I leave my tent... there are worse places to live on earth, right? ;)

I welcomed new guests to the camp; amongst others Julie Ninnis, an Australian lady I had been in touch with via email before. By default I had mentioned that I wouldn't mind her bringing me some Cadbury chocolate to the elephant camp. She took this hint quite seriously.

This must have been some 5kgs of finest Australian chocolate!!!
Big shame that all good things come to an end... ;)

Happiness is the only thing that doubles once you share it, they say. So I started to share my chocolate. First with Mike, then with the other tour guides, the bar staff, the kitchen staff, the office staff... I shared and shared, until there were only... well... maybe 3kgs left. ^^

I secured the few leftovers in my tent and took off for today's Elephant Experience. Nine German guests required my guiding, and they were all quite happy with the information I gave them, I believe. At least they listened pretty well. :)

So this is how you properly scrub an elephant clean. Easy, right?

Afterwards we started the obligatory canoe safari on the Sok river. As the sun was still roasting us, the majority decided half way down to jump into the river and float the rest of the route. So chilling in our life jackets, we enjoyed some good talks while the amazing landscape passed by like in a drive-through-movie. (In case something like that exists...) Would somebody like to join?

This is rather at the beginning - later on I was in the water, too busy for taking pictures. Sorry. ;)

Finally we made it back to the camp, and I even got an applaus from my guests for my today's performance. Well - not hard to be brilliant when pumped up to the skull with (Australian) chocolate. ^^

The good news kept coming: After approximately two months in production we finally released the first part of our new HaHa-movie! No more commercial elephant movie in the evening, but a very personal documentary about our youngest elephant lady. So cute!

Last but not least, as I had shared some more Ozzie chocolate with the second shift bar staff, I read my emails. And guess what I found? My good old friend Jürgen has eventually booked his flights to Thailand! And he will come to see me for my 26th birthday!!! Isn't that terrific?

Real friendship knows no boundaries, they say. And for sure it doesn't care about distances... :)

Once upon a time in Australia... two guys merely of full age fooling around in the sanddunes of Western Australia.

Thanks for being with me throughout all these years, Jay!

So yes, this is what I call a sensational Saturday. How was yours?

Amazing Mondays...

Hey guys!

A lady from Australia I recently had the pleasure to meet sent this over to me to brighten up my Monday. Well, what can I say - after breaking out in tears and almost falling off the bench from laughing, some worried guests came over to ask if I am suffocating or something... Geez, even though I have not witnessed these stories, and none of them happened in Thailand, this is absolutely hilarious, and I just had to share it with you! (Thanks Shareen for sending this over! It's gonna be an amazing week!)

Oh, by the way: Happy birthday, Sirikit! (That's the Thai queen.)

Good. So here we finally go. Some newspaper extracts from Africa.

1. The Cape Times ( Cape Town )

"I have promised to keep his identity confidential,' said Jack Maxim, a spokeswoman for the Sandton Sun Hotel, Johannesburg , "but I can confirm that he is no longer in our employment.

We asked him to clean the lifts and he spent four days on the job. When I asked him why, he replied: 'Well, there are forty of them, two on each floor and sometimes some of them aren't there'. Eventually, we realised that he thought each floor had a different lift, and he'd cleaned the same two twelve times. "We had to let him go. It seemed best all round. I understand he is now working for Escom."

2. The Star ( Johannesburg )

"The situation is absolutely under control," Transport Minister Ephraem Magagula told the Swaziland Parliament in Mbabane . "Our nation's merchant navy is perfectly safe. We just don't know where it is, that's all."

Replying to an MP's question, Minister Magagula admitted that the landlocked country had completely lost track of its only ship, the Swazimar: "We believe it is in a sea somewhere. At one time, we sent a team of men to look for it, but there was a problem with drink and they failed to find it, and so, technically, yes, we've lost it a bit. But I categorically reject all suggestions of incompetence on the part of this government. The Swazimar is a big ship painted in the sort of nice bright colors you can see at night. Mark my words, it will turn up. The right honourable gentleman opposite is a very naughty man, and he will laugh on the other side of his face when my ship comes in."

 

3. The Standard ( Kenya )

"What is all the fuss about?" Weseka Sambu asked a hastily convened news conference at Jomo Kenyatta International Airport . "A technical hitch like this could have happened anywhere in the world. You people are not patriots You just want to cause trouble." Sambu, a spokesman for Kenya Airways, was speaking after the cancellation of a through flight from Kisumu, via Jomo Kenyatta, to Berlin.

"The forty-two passengers had boarded the plane ready for take-off, when the pilot noticed one of the tyres was flat. Kenya Airways did not possess a spare tyre, and unfortunately the airport nitrogen canister was empty. A passenger suggested taking the tyre to a petrol station for inflation, but unluckily the jack had gone missing so we couldn't get the wheel off. Our engineers tried heroically to re-inflate the tyre with a bicycle pump, but had no luck, and the pilot even blew into the valve with his mouth, but he passed out. "When I announced that the flight had to be abandoned, one of the passengers, Mr Mutu, suddenly struck me about the face with a life-jacket whistle and said we were a national disgrace. I told him he was being ridiculous, and that there was to be another flight in a fortnight. And, in the meantime, he would be able to enjoy the scenery around Kisumu, albeit at his own expense."

4. From a Zimbabwean newspaper

While transporting mental patients from Harare to Bulawayo , the bus Driver stopped at a roadside shebeen (beerhall) for a few beers.

When he got back to his vehicle, he found it empty, with the 20 patients nowhere to be seen. Realizing the trouble he was in if the truth were uncovered, he halted his bus at the next bus stop and offered lifts to those in the queue. Letting 20 people board, he then shut the doors and drove straight to the Bulawayo mental hospital, where he hastily handed over his 'charges', warning the nurses that they were particularly excitable. Staff removed the furious passengers; it was three days later that suspicions were roused by the consistency of stories from the 20. As for the real patients: nothing more has been heard of them and they have apparently blended comfortably back into Zimbabwean society.